


Grease! Or, the one where Jim is a hood, Bones is wholesome, and Chekov wears a dress

by AgeOfAlejandro



Category: Grease (1978), Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, F/M, Fusion, Multi, cross dressing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-05
Updated: 2012-10-05
Packaged: 2017-10-30 20:24:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/335712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgeOfAlejandro/pseuds/AgeOfAlejandro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If you had not characterized your prior relationship with him as being meaninglessly casual, perhaps you would have found success," Spock said, smearing lettuce around in its dressing. Jim sighed. "I know. Little late now."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grease! Or, the one where Jim is a hood, Bones is wholesome, and Chekov wears a dress

**Author's Note:**

> [There was this picture of Urban in a very nice old car ](http://jim-and-bones.livejournal.com/447114.html#cutid1)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> and then this plot bunny appeared, demanding that I write for it, and it's really best to just surrender to these things.  
> List of Approximate Roles: (in order of appearance)  
> Bones ~ Sandy  
> Jim ~ Danny  
> Spock ~ Kenickie  
> Mikey (OC) ~ miscellaneous mouthy Burger Palace Boy  
> Uhura ~ Rizzo  
> Chekov ~ Cha Cha DiGrigorio  
> Sulu ~ Cha Cha's jealous boyfriend

"There's no fuckin' way I'd go with you!" Bones snapped.

"Aww, come on. You know you wanna!" Jim replied with what he thought was a winsome smile.

"I know what I want, Kirk, and it isn't going to a dance with a total asshole like you," Bones snarled and stomped off before Jim could get another word in.

He sighed and made his way back to his usual table, where Spock and the rest of the gang sat.

"I take it you failed?" Spock asked over his salad.

"Yeah," Jim admitted, flopping into his seat.

"If you had not characterized your prior relationship with him as being meaninglessly casual, perhaps you would have found success," Spock said, smearing lettuce around in its dressing.

Jim sighed. "I know. Little late now."

One of the others looked up at him and snickered. "I still can't believe you fell for that guy. He's so... _wholesome._ "

"Fuck you, Mikey," Jim replied, flipping him the bird. "Bones is an awesome guy."

Uhura chose that moment to appear at Spock's side. "He must be, if he's not tolerating your shit," she said, leaning her elbow against Spock's shoulder and cocking her hip.

Jim glared at her. "Fuck you, too."

"You deserve everything he says," Uhura replied. "You brought it on yourself."

"Don't remind me," Jim grumbled.  
_

Leonard didn't actually know why he was going tonight, especially since he was going stag. It was a fucking _sock hop_. And Kirk, that bastard, was sure to be there. Leonard ignored the roiling mix of feelings at that thought.  
Regretting it the moment he got to the hop, he lurked in a corner and nursed a glass of punch, unsure why he was staying.

The thing about Kirk was that no matter where he was, he was the center of attention, and that proved to be no different tonight.  
Leonard shook his head when the boy appeared just as the dance competition was announced. Kirk's eyes swept the room, looking for a potential partner, and their eyes met. Leonard glared at him and Kirk held up his hands, as if to say _ok, ok, I get it_. Feeling almost satisfied, Leonard went back to glaring at his drink.

Music started to play and he looked up again, watching Kirk whirl someone around the dancefloor. At first, Leonard thought it was a girl he was dancing with, but it turned out to be a blond boy who happened to be wearing a dress. After what felt like quite some time, the dance competition came to an end, with Kirk and his petite drag queen taking the win, and Kirk allowed the blond to crush him in a hug, leaning up to peck him on the lips as he accepted the trophy. Unreasonable jealousy and a sense of betrayal stabbed Leonard in the gut. If Kirk wanted him so much, then why did he little the little queen so close?  
_

"How was I supposed to know," Jim demanded, "that the kid's boyfriend belonged to a gang? Or that he'd get his panties in a twist over us _dancing_? And that totally didn't count as a kiss!"

"Nevertheless, Jim, you cannot turn down the rumble," Spock replied.

Jim growled and sighed. "I know. I'll go get the car. I don't even know the kid's name," he grumbled.  
_  
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Bones demanded, hovering agitatedly around Jim as he strode toward the garage he kept his car in.

"I can't turn down the challenge and I'll be fine," Jim said, steadfastly not looking at Bones. "And what's it matter to you, anyway? You don't want anything to do with me, so why do you care?"

"Don't you dare turn that around on me, Jim Kirk!" Bones snapped.

"Oh, I'm not turning it around on you," Jim said. "It's my damn fault you want nothing to do with me. But, seriously, why do you care?"

Bones growled at him. "Because your life matters!"

"Why? I'm an asshole, remember? And I'll come out of this just fine. This isn't my first rumble," he said, unlocking and raising the garage door. He took a deep breath, smelling rubber and cement as he walked into the space, his keys clutched tight in his hand.

There was another growl and Jim found himself shoved up against the nearest vertical surface, Bones's fist knotted in his collar. "Doesn't mean you'll survive this one." Warm breath gusted over his face and Bones's eyes glittered in the yellow light from the street lamp outside. "This shit is dangerous, Jim, and I don't want you to die tonight."

All Jim could think about was the way his heart lifted when Bones used his name. "You called me Jim," he said, a quiet smile on his lips.

"It's your fucking name, isn't it?" Bones snapped before smashing their mouths together in a harsh kiss. He loosened his fist at Jim's collar and cupped the back of Jim's head instead, holding him close while trying to wrest the keys from Jim's hand.

Jim struggled out of the kiss before long, pressing his hand against Bones's chest to put space between them and tightening his grip on the keys. "Sorry," he said breathlessly. "Have to go." He wormed his way out from under Bones, who had pinned Jim against the wall with his body again.

"You're gonna get yourself killed!" Bones argued, trying to get a firm grip on Jim to prevent him from escaping. "This is fucking stupid, Jim."

"Tell me about," Jim agreed, ducking under Bones's arm and scooting around the other side of the car. "The kid I won the dance contest with's boyfriend has gotten all worked up over the sock hop. It's not like I even really kissed the guy, much less anything more," he said, unlocking the door and sliding in.

Bones rapped his knuckles against the glass of the passenger side window, still looking livid. "Let me in. You won't see reason, and if you're gonna do this, then you're not going alone."

Jim watched him for a moment before popping the lock. "It'll be fine, Bones. You don't have to," he replied even as the other boy took his seat and buckled up as Jim backed out of the garage.

"I'm fuckin' gonna, Jim," Bones replied, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. "Get used to it."

Jim smiled to himself as he threw the car into drive and took off.

 

It wasn't long before they reached their destination, which was a wide, dry canal that had once carried water from the city to a now-abandoned factory. Jim carefully made his way down the bank, eventually stopping next to a slick car, an Asian guy at the wheel. The blond kid leaned on the door, obviously flirting with him, and they looked over at Jim as he parked the car.

Bones unbuckled his seatbelt. "You better come out of this, idiot," he said, opening the door.

"I will," Jim said, turning to watch Bones get out. "I've got all sort of reasons now, don't I?" he added with a grin when Bones looked at him.

Rolling his eyes, he slammed the door shut and stalked off to stand with a small crowd of observers, choosing not to dignify Jim's comment with an answer.

"Hey! Be nice to my car! Betty's a classic!" Jim holler out the open window. He couldn't help but laugh when Bones gave him a withering look.

"Why, hello again," the blond said, having circled his boyfriend's car and rested his hip against Jim's door.

Jim glowered at him. "Go away, kid."

"It's Pavel," he said, looking annoyed as he adjusted the scarf around his neck. "Pavel Chekov."

"Then go away, _Chekov_."

Chekov rolled his eyes. "You'll be racing to the second bridge and back. First one back is the winner. Come with me," he said and sauntered away.

Both Jim and the other driver followed Chekov, coming to a stop when the blond paused and turned around. He reached for his scarf and pulled it from his neck, letting it flutter in the breeze as he turned to face them. Silence reigned for a moment before the other driver began to gun his engine and Jim followed suit. Chekov slowly lifted his hand, clutching the scarf, grinned at them, and snapped his arm down to signal the beginning of the race.

There was no way Jim was going to loose this.

 

 

As soon as Jim came to a full stop, Bones was on him, dragging him out of the car and practically crushing several of Jim's ribs in a hug. There had been several harrowing moments and he knew Bones was a worrier at the best of times, so he didn't even protest. Jim was glad to have him back and he returned the hug with interest, winking at Spock and Uhura over Bones's shoulder. He smiled when Uhura rolled her eyes and Spock came as close as he seemed to be capable of doing that, too.

Bones pulled away and glared. "Don't you ever fucking do that again!" he snapped, shaking Jim once for emphasis. "I almost had a heart attack!"

"I'll do my best," Jim said placatingly, running his hands over Bones's shoulders and watching Spock navigate political waters with the other gang.

"No, you'll not do it at all," Bones replied sharply, still glaring.

Jim was unsure of how he was going to get out of this conversation and he hesitated before replying. "Bones," he started before Spock saved him by appearing at Bones's elbow. "I think it would be a good time to vacate the premises," he interrupted. "It would be most unfortunate if one of us were arrested."

Nodding, Jim gently pried Bones's hands off him. "We should go. Wanna ride with me?"

He knew the conversation was not over when Bones continued to glower. "Fine," Bones said curtly. "Don't think we're done with this, Jim Kirk."

"I know," Jim replied.  
_____________________  
 _Twenty years later_

"JIM KIRK!" Bones hollered from the front room.

Jim winced. That tone never boded well. "Yeah?" he called from the kitchen, leaning against the door jamb.

"What's this I hear about some stupid stunt of yours?" Bones demanded, waving the mail at him angrily and dumping his keys in the bowl by the door. "What the hell were you thinking? Climbing down that cliff!"

"I was remembering how Mikey almost got killed the same way," Jim replied, his voice a tad cool.

"There are these people, who're paid to deal with this kind of thing," Bones said, "they're generally called 'search and rescue'."

"They wouldn't have gotten there in time," Jim answered. "And anyway, I'm fine and I got the kid to the hospital, which is how you heard, I'm sure."

"Jim," Bones sighed, looking upset, "you won't always be so lucky. It's a wonder you and the rest of the gang made it out of high school and you need to stop pushing your luck."

Running his hands over Bones's shoulders in a familiar, soothing gesture, Jim replied, "I do try to stay out of trouble's way, you know. But I can't leave people in situations like that when I can help."

Bones rested his forehead against Jim's. "You're going to get hurt doing that, Jim, and we might not be able to help you. That's what I worry about; you accidentally killing yourself doing something noble."

"I'm sorry," Jim said quietly. "Love you."

"Love you, too," Bones replied and sighed. After a moment, he lifted his head and gave Jim a look. "Now, don't you have some grading to do to keep you out of trouble?"

Jim rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah," he said. "Lots of it."

"If you'd let your students do multiple choice tests, it wouldn't be so bad," Bones pointed out. "All you'd have to do is run the scantrons through that ridiculous machine and maybe a short essay."

"But then I don't know if they actually understand what I'm teaching them," Jim insisted, blue eyes serious. "I'd rather grade three hundred essays than have them not get it."

"See? You bring these things on yourself. You always have and probably always will."

"Thanks, Nyota," Jim replied, rolling his eyes.

"She's usually right," Bones said. "That hasn't changed since high school, back when you were a little shit hood."

"Thank you, dear," Jim replied sarcastically and then he laughed. "Who would've thought I'd end up as a history professor back then?"

Bones chuckled. "I wouldn't have guessed history professor, but _I_ knew you'd make something of yourself. Assuming you survived adolescence."

Jim smiled warmly. "There never was any doubt about you. Knew you'd be a doctor when you told me that's what you wanted to do." There was the smell of burning onions and he yelped, scampering back into the kitchen to salvage dinner. When Bones only leaned against the doorway and laughed, Jim threw an oven mit at him, smacking him square in the face. He grinned in just recompense when Bones half-heartedly glared. "Brought that on yourself," he sing songed, reaching for a spoon. "Now, make yourself useful and cut up four carrots. We're having potpie."

"You are such a lazy cook," Bones replied with amusement, washing his hands of hospital filth. "Making me work the moment I get home because you're too lazy to chop everything up beforehand."

"Yeah, well, I'm the only one of us who can cook _and_ I'm making you dinner. So shut up and chop."

Bones rolled his eyes and did as he was told.


End file.
